Enjoy male enhancement and celebrate the fact you can make your penis bigger. But make a point to avoid a shantytown near Malalane, South Africa, where local villagers killed a priest with a magic penis.

Rumour has it the dead priest’s family placed a hex on his killers. One of them died and the others are presumed loco.

Cue Mulder from the X Files, there’s weirdness to this one.

According to this article, the locals accused Pastor Albert Malwane of the Izwi Zion Christian Church of having a magic penis, which he presumably used to have his way with the lovely ladies of said shantytown. They also claimed he talked to animals and his wife turned into a snail and terrorized the community.

Because we all know that snails are evil and will kill you when so inclined.

Anyway, the villagers didn’t like Pastor Albert’s magical Johnson, so they did the logical thing and dragged him out of his house and torched it. Then they took him up a hill and torched him. His family went into hiding and the accused were arrested.

Well, it seems that the man with the magic penis has spooky powers from beyond the grave, because one of the accused developed swollen feet, bloody vomit and a slight case of death.

Ok so it wasn’t the magic penis that killed him – the dead priest’s father confirmed that his family placed a hex on his son’s killers.

Hex. Got sick and died. Same thing.

The moral of the story? Enjoy your penis. Just don’t say it’s magic if you’re within the general vicinity of Malalane, South Africa.