Question: What do Google and your priest have in common?

Answer: You wouldn’t lie to either one.

If we’re to believe that, researchers have found some interesting habits, of men and ladies, and what they’re looking for in their online search for gratification.

In a massive study of amorous online search habits, researchers studied sex-related search logs and identified several notable (and depending on how you look at it, either humorous or highly disturbed) patterns in what people are looking for when their hormones lead them to cyberspace.

Researchers based their findings on the theory that people don’t lie to search engines. If you’ve got a special thing for cowboys eating pudding, that’s what you’ll look for. That was the idea. And wow, some people are really…out there.

The results, published in a new book, “A Billion Wicked Thoughts”, are summarized by Maureen Callahan in the New York Post.

They include:

  • straight guys like variety to their kink, including sites devoted to elderly women and transsexuals
  • straight and gay men have more in common than you might think; their favorite body parts, in this order, are chest, buttocks and feet
  • straight women fantasize about romance between two men (noting that the largest audience for Brokeback Mountain was straight women)
  • straight men are visual, like amateur porn sites, rather than scripted porn movies, and they enjoy group sex
  • straight women and gay men are fascinated by domination and submission…and they both prefer the latter

and perhaps most interesting:

  • straight men are “fascinated” with other men’s penises

Relax. This doesn’t mean you’re going down that road. Freud might have a few thoughts on that, but we’ll let that sit.

What it might suggest, is that guys love their penis, and compare their anatomy to others. Judging from the traffic we get to this website, there’s a whole lot of that.

Take these findings with a grain of salt. You’re on a male enhancement blog because you care about your identity, your penis and your health. Frankly, it ain’t cool to compare your self to anyone but you. If you’re happy with what you have, that’s groovy. If you’re not, there are plenty of resources on this website to fix that.

But this study does illustrate the incredible diversity of what’s online, and what’s more, the people who look for them.

And of course that Google is taking over the world.